It occurred to me that I should probably upgrade my web server to the most current PHP version, especially since the WordPress admin panel wouldn't cease to comment on it. It appears that 7.2 just wasn't good enough, so the panel felt the need to poke at me as if it were going shopping again for something I didn't want to buy.

I figured perhaps updating was in my immediate future, and I'd better get it handled or these things would drive me to a point of anger and frustration.

You can imagine my joy as I executed the command to check the new version. It was there. I was elated. All of my websites immediately went down.

I called my tech support. This is me, for those wondering, and I realized that I needed to understand and mitigate this crap quickly.
This will not be a long post, for the sake of your eyes and your reading patience, but here is the gist of what is going wrong when you see an error that tells you that MySQL is set wrong.

You will have to re-install all of the modules that you previously saw working. That includes imagick, zip, bd, curl, all of those little rascals have to be installed with apt all over again. Each of them is prefaced with php7.X-.

Have fun! At least it all works smoothly once you're finished.